The Power of Pivoting

Pivoting doesn't have to be as obnoxious as Ross makes it out to be. Although to our family and friends maybe that's not true... Throughout our lives we will encounter times where we aren't grooving where we are at. 

Maybe we're in a bad relationship, our job sucks, the clothes in our closet hang on us like beige garbage bags, or we're facing a new diagnosis we don't want to deal with. These are all opportunities to pivot and try something different. Ignoring these times to change may feel more comfortable in the present moment, but down the road we may regret not having listened to our need for change.

Y'all know some of my story. I went through four years of college, a gap year with more classes, four years of medical school, and a year of general surgery residency. That's 10 years and over $200K spent on my education. And then I walked away from it all to focus on myself. 

It was the scariest decision I made in my life, and yet so far I think it was the most important one. When we lean into those times of discomfort and make the brave decision to pivot, we will discover how powerful we really are to create the lives we secretly, desperately want.

But don't take my word for it. Here are some other stories about pivoting in life.

Trailer Park Girl turned Multimillionaire 

Ash Ambirge (think Faberge) is a badass woman with ovaries of steel. She grew up poor, living in a trailer in rural Susquehanna County, Pennsylvania. Her father died of cancer when she was in the seventh grade, and her mother died from a pulmonary embolism (blood clot in her lung) when Ash was 20 years old. 

After that she moved, not wanting the town's pity for being both poor and an orphan. She aspired to just be middle class: wealthy enough to have a house with a two-car garage and cook lemon-pepper chicken for dinner. Her first job was in marketing, and then she moved into magazine advertising (where she was killing it.)

But after achieving the middle-class dream, she realized she wanted more out of her life. So she left her job, went to grad school, tried a bunch of different things,  broke up with her significant other, lived in her friend's basement for a while, and starting writing. From there, The Middle Finger Project was born. 

Since the birth of the Middle Finger Project, Ash Ambirge went from sleeping in a Kmart parking lot with only $26 to her name to making over $5 million dollars through her writing. She published a book with Penguin which has been sold around the world, started an independent publishing company, travels wherever she wants, and currently lives in Costa Rica.

She is absolutely hilarious and a sight to behold. Listen to this great interview with her on the Coach Pony podcast and check out Ash's website for more details. I can't say enough about this woman.

Reading Corner

In his book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, Mark Manson shares his irreverent insights about how to give fewer f*cks so you can actually care about the things that really matter to you. This book reads like a comedy, but it is full of concise, earth-shattering advice.

Mark says it like it is. At times it's a tough pill to swallow, but when you do swallow it, you find it could change your life. Here are some of the biggest pieces of insight I took from this book:

1) There will always be problems in life. This is just true. But what can bring us satisfaction and fulfillment is to pursue the problems in life that we enjoy solving. 

2) If we care about everything, then we don't really care about anything. You only have so much energy, attention, and concern. It is impossible to care about everything equally. So it is much better to focus on the things that are really impactful to you. Hence the subtle art of not giving a f*ck. 

3) We are all going to die. Most of us spend a lot of energy pretending that's not the case or being terrified of the reality. But it isn't something that can be ignored, and being afraid of death won't change its certainty. 

When we let go of the fear surrounding our inevitable death, we can get to work focusing on what really matters to us. We can show up in our lives knowing that our time on this planet is limited. This helps us to put things in perspective (and again, give fewer f*cks).

Owning our mortality helps us to recognize that feeling silly, stupid, or embarrassed are such small, fleeting feelings in the grand scheme of things. And they are such a small price to pay for pursuing the life we want.

Show Time

It didn't get the best ratings, but I really loved this movie. In Falling for Figaro, Danielle Macdonald's character is a successful fund manager who decides to pursue her dream of becoming an opera singer even though she KICKS ASS at her job (they all love her and are promoting her). She knows nothing about actually singing opera, and her boyfriend thinks she's nuts for doing this. But she does it anyway.

Why do I love this movie? Two reasons. One: if features a badass woman who is confident in what she wants and goes out to pursue it even though it would be safer to stay where she is. She's willing to leave something she is really good at to try and fail at something she is a total noob at. And two: the main character is a plus-sized woman and nowhere in the movie do they fat-shame her, dress her poorly, or even give a whiff of stigma against larger bodies.

Also it's a fun romcom. So grab a bag of popcorn and enjoy a movie that will make you feel like you can pivot at any stage of your life. (I think you can see why I like this movie.)

Daily Tune

I know musicals aren't everyone's cup of tea, but I can't think of a more-fitting song for this week's newsletter than Defying Gravity. Have a listen to Idina Menzel's live performance from Barefoot at the Symphony. 

"I'm through accepting limits

'Cause someone says they're so

Some things I cannot change

But 'til I try, I'll never know!

Too long I've been afraid of

Losing love I guess I've lost

Well, if that's loveIt comes at much too high a cost!

I'd sooner buy defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity

And you can't pull me down"

Lola’s Story

This is a photo of Lola at the Providence Animal Shelter on July 11, 2021, the day I met her.  She has come such a long way since that day. Lola came to me as a reactive dog, which means that her response to normal things (other dogs, people with back packs, sometimes kids) is over-the-top. 

This most likely came from her not being socialized. Her previous owners kept her indoors by herself all the time. They even had her pee inside instead of taking her outside.

When I first brought her home, she would react to just about everything. People, animals, the sound of our neighbors walking up the stairs to their apartment. Going for walks was so challenging because I didn't know how to manage her.

I enrolled her in a reactive dog course, and at the end I would argue she'd made the most progress of the all six dogs. Unfortunately, she regressed when I moved to CT. But today, she is so much better than when she started. 

She absolutely loves people, is able to interact respectfully with children, and doesn't lose her shit as often when she sees dogs. I love Lola with all my heart, and credit her with still being alive today. She gives me hope that if she can change her way of living, I can too.

Question of the Day

If you got all the way through today's long newsletter, congrats! I couldn't help but load it up with all of these goodies. What story resonated with you the most and why?